We entered a new year, a new decade even. Around the internet all I could find a couple of weeks back was the “10 years challenge”. That made me reflect on what my progress has been over the years, and unfortunately I can’t say I’m proud.
I am a momma, a proud one, and would not change that for anything in the world, I am a wife, and could not be more in harmony with anyone other than my husband, but at anything else, I feel like I have failed tragically.
This post is not about kids or parenting, it’s about me and my frustrations, ideals and hopes.
10 years ago I was finishing high-school. I can’t say what in England that would be. It’s the 4 years of school after the secondary years, where you can choose an area to study, but not very specifically, like in collage. It’s the important time of your life when you form as an individual, you start creating the ADULT you.
10 years ago I graduated from a school I hated, where I never thought I fit in and where I made a fool out of myself so many times. But I found great friends there, and had the best time of our lives. Looking back, I do miss it, but I regret losing connection with most of the people that surrounded me, showing me again what a terrible friend I am.
10 years ago I started University, studying Psychology and Educational Sciences, moving to a different city. I had such defined dreams, a clear path to follow and an enthusiasm I now envy. I joined the best non profit organisation where we did all kind of activities of great interest, meeting new people, working on my dreams.
From then to now, something changed. There have been 10 years of choices to make, disappointments, joy and hard work, but I am nowhere near where I wanted to be. I changed career, and never looked back, I even love it to every extent. Faith did the rest, as I found the man I needed when I least expected it, and supported each other day after day, building the little family we have brick by brick. Arianna completed our lives with her tiny little feet and smiles.
But all the enthusiasm disappeared, no defined goals, no plans for future. I feel like a lost sheep sometimes and need direction. The New Year Resolutions made me think of what is important for me at the moment, and maybe will make the path clearer.
There is maybe still time to make new hopes and dreams? There is maybe another opportunity for us to start fresh?