Hello there! Welcome back to my blog, and if you are new here thank you for stopping by. I am Flo and I am a first time mum of a gorgeous almost 6 months baby called Arianna Maria. Today I felt like putting into words what being a mother means to me.
For those of you that don’t know me, I am a difficult kind of person. There are people that love me or hate me, but lately I grew to care less of what others think of me and I focused on what I feel about myself. I sat down and started making a list with things that I like and dislike about myself, what I would love to improve and what to give up giving so much credit to. But never thought about myself that I am mother material.
In my head, a couple of years ago, a mother was a very responsible, serious, organised, accomplished woman, but also a person that gave up fighting for herself on a personal level. Probably this idea of mine came from noticing the women from my family, unconsciously.
My husband wished for a baby so badly and kept asking me if I am ready, but never thought I was made for this. I wanted a career, to discover who I am and to shape myself first, as in my mind becoming a mother would be the end of my opportunities. I know, not very open minded of me, but that’s who I am and what I was thinking.
Last year though, something kept crossing my mind, that I am ready for a baby, and maybe, MAYBE, I can still discover myself along the way and grow together with my baby, in a realistic way (not like I saw in movies, where everything is possible, because in real life things are much harder).
When I got pregnant I was the happiest woman alive, not being able to describe the new emotions and feelings that I was experiencing. Unfortunately, my pregnancy was not as full of happy episodes, but I knew that my love for the little human growing inside me will be the trigger for many things I will do in future.
Becoming a mother was the best thing that happened to me and the biggest wake up call ever. What a fool I’ve been before!
Being a mother means to become the best version of yourself, each an every day, to be the best role model you can be for your baby. It means to defy any natural law and to cross all your limits in order to learn the more you can, so you can help your little one in any situation.
To me, becoming a mother determined me to study and research some areas that I thought are important, made me to develop professionally on a consistent way (especially because I have a baby girl and I wish for her to be able to dream of anything and not to be afraid to chase her dreams), made me care more of what’s happening in the world and how I can help make the world a better place for my baby to grow into.
On a personal level, becoming a mother changed the way I see myself. I don’t have the urge to criticise much my body, as the way I talk about myself will have an influence on how Arianna will see herself in years. I want for her to learn to love who she is and the body that she has, despite the imperfections that society tries to impose. Don’t get me wrong, wanting to be fit and slim and beautiful and anything you want, basically, it’s not wrong, but I’ve met a lot of people that are built more robustly and that starved themselves to match the patterns accepted by the society. I am fat, obese even, based on my BMI, but despite the fact that I would love losing some weight, I have learned to love myself as I am as well. My body did amazing things and I feel blessed being able to carry a baby and to experience these changes.
In other words, to me, being a mother is an upgrade to a level not even imagined before, on all plans, the most amazing experience that God could’ve offered to someone.
Cheers to all mothers out there! You are amazing, strong, beautiful angels.
Hope to meet you back on my blog on Wednesday when I publish a new post!